A Poem, Que Terible.

i can't let go
my grip steadfast in hopes
you will last
you will grow in my heart
i can't give up
my love still shows
in my eyes
you must know what i see
i can't tear away
my heart bears a burden
a weight
heavy with the baggage you carry
i won't stop now
were i wise i would try
to forget
to remember the regret of mistake
i won't die down
there's a flame yet burning
for you
but time is cool rain
and i'll smoke out my feelings
and carry those embers
precious and glowing
to another love
another flame
one more chance of life inflagrante.

Irony

I'm going to put this out there for myself, and only I will understand it, so don't try to. Obama's girls have allergies and need a hypoallergenic dog. What a good father. What a good parent to recognize how important a pet is for the development of a child's precious and fragile psyche. Even thought both Sasha and Malia are incredibly allergic to dogs, the good father and good man that Obama is... is finding a way around it, because he loves his daughters. Dogs are so important in so many ways. They teach you so many things about life. I think a child who didn't have the fortune of having a pet is lacking something when they reach adulthood. You are forced to think about something other than yourself when you must take on the responsability of caring for a pet. And even though Obama's girls are actually alergic to dogs... he's not letting that stop them from having that unparalleled experience. And it's because he is a good parent. The black, liberal, democratic, young, brand new president who kicked McCain's ass... is an amazing parent.

Trouble is a friend, so don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm. I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm.

So it finally happened. I knew that it would, and I've been preparing for a long time. And while I sit here, still, I'm fighting with the two halves of me that can't seem to agree on much of anything. Half the time I tell myself I am finally free, that all his problems arn't my problem anymore, and I'm lucky. I said to a girlfriend yesterday, "oh he just can't get over himself... which makes ONE of us." And sometimes I really believe that. And sometimes it hurts so much that he is gone. Not really that HE is gone, mind you, but that love is gone. He's got a new girlfriend now, which of course I knew was coming... that's all you can expect from a serial monogamist. But it still hurts. And yet some part of me is so relieved. Because now we arn't the last things to grace eachother's lives. He's got a whole new life that I don't know about, and I have one too. So how can a thing that brings you peace be the very same thing that breaks your heart? Maybe because I devoted so much of myself to him, that since he so quickly jumped into someone else's arms it makes me feel devalidated. No, there's no maybe about it... that's exactly it. Where did our love go?
Now I am speaking directly to you. How dare you. What happened to I'll love you forever, you are the one, you are the only person I've ever really loved? Where did your dreams go, where did your passion, your heart, your enthusiasm, your spark... where did it all slink away to? You used to love me and hold me so close, and without anger or pain. And it turned somewhere. You let the fear of your mother take over. You let the fear of being like your father take over. You were so lucky to have me, so lucky that you had a shot at a happy life, and you let that knwledge go. It's so heart-breaking that I was the one who saw the light in you, and that you couldn't even trust yourself enough to see how good you were for me. You could only see your pain, and your weakness. It's so sad that I now understand what you saw, and that I agree with you. I'm so lucky to be out of that life, out of that anger. I can breathe for the first time, smile for myself, speak for myself, love myself, without you. I worry for you, instead of long to be with you. And that's the hardest piece to let go. Because I will always love you, and hope that you can find your way. But part of me will always feel a loss, and rage for what happened to us, and that you weren't strong enough to make me enough. You told me you needed to be on your own, that you don't even know who you are, that you needed to find your place in this world. It wasn't enough to date someone who had life, you needed life too. You couldn't believe all of the wonderful things I saw in you, you had to see them for yourself. And that's true. I've always known it was true. But then why would you spit in the face of that one shining moment when you were actually a man, and run out to find yourself a new girl to occupy your time? Occupy your thoughts... so you don't have to be in your own head, figuring out your own messes. You were such a grown up in so many ways that night, and in the end when I made you step up to the plate and decide what turn our relationship would take, you did the one and only honorable thing you had done throughout our 15 months together. You had such a chance. And I believed you might really take your new found self-awareness and use it to make your life better. It breaks my heart that I was so right about you, to the point that my greatest fear for you has been realized and that instead of taking the path of self-discovery, you have decided to let yet another girl (not even a WOMAN) decide for you who you are. So my hands are finally washed of all the blood your mother spilled. My concience is clean and no longer heavy with the burden of being in an abusive realtionship. My heart finally has a chance to find someone who doesn't smother and stab, and though I still cry sometimes because I'm used to what we had... unlike you, I mean the words I say. And there is truth in my desire to find that one person who gives me what I have always given freely to you, my heart... one that beats even though it is scarred.

Yes. We. Did.

This is it, America. President Barack Obama will finally take the thrown. After all the hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and years, we will see and feel our victory in Washington. The man who carries the heart and souls of even the quietest American will take those voices through the years ahead and turn them in to a roar of change and hope. We have fought so long and wishes so hard for the chance to see the America we all know can exist again, and Barack Obama will be that banner carrier. He will wave our flag, show our colors and shape this country back into the mold it was meant to be. We are a great nation of strength, courage, and heart. Our leader screams at the top of his lungs and whispers in each of our ears that we CAN be what we once were again, that we are MORE than what we have become, and that with his help, we will once more feel the pride in our hearts of this united nation, and be strong in our decree that we are Americans, and YES. WE. CAN.

Barack.

I have... something I'd like to say today. Over the past two years, I have been neck-deep in politics. I have followed the election since everyone has been saying "but its two years away!" And its because I want so much for this country to be ok. I've been searching for an answer for so long, that when the time came for someone to take Bush's place, I was chomping at the bit to know more. To learn who these men were. As time passed... to learn who these WOMEN were. I knew it was going to be a time of big change, not only a shifting of power, but with the first woman as the speaker of the house, and with my recent return from my first trip to Washington D.C., I could feel something in the air. Not a cloud looming overhead, but a stirring of something... something... hopeful. And who comes along to set ablaze that little spark in my heart? Barack Obama, bellowing "FIRE IT UP!" with every step on the campaign trail. Hope-mongering be damned, that man made me feel alive. He made me feel a true and unfaltering hope that this country could be better, that my people could be better, that we could reclaim our position as leaders of the free world, and again help our brothers and neighbors because finally, we can once again help ourselves. We can be whole, we can be good. That is what Obama said to me, and that is what I felt when I shook his hand. Looking at Barack Obama (now I'm going to be a little emotional, here), often brings tears to my eyes. What he believes in, what he wishes for all of us, is what I have so longed for in my knowledge of the world around me. I have wanted to shout from rooftops, "WE HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THE WORLD... We are better than these last eight years... Yes we can... ENOUGH." Obama, is me speaking out, he is you, and my mom, and my friends, and everyone I have ever heard complain that the system doesn't work for them. The republican system doesn't work for us, Barack Obama, HOPE, FAITH, STRENGTH, that works for us. We used to be a country that helped however and whomever we could, now we can hardly sustain ourselves. I can feel it, and I've felt it for a long time. I know you can feel it, too. When I look at Barack Obama, I see the best in all of us. I see JFK, I see John Adams, I see my grandfather. I feel his warmth, dedication, passion, and heart. Its time for us, all of us, to have someone like that be the leader of our world. Its time for a return to our ideals, a time to remember what used to be good, and how we were good to eachother. He will lead the way. He is the one to bring us back, because he knows that he cannot do it alone, and that is the difference between our next president and John McCain. WE as the American people can only battle through the tough times and make things better for ourselves. Barack can only be a strong leader, whispering in our ears words of encouragement and hope. We must do the work ourselves, and Barack can be the leader we need to change this country we have let fall apart at our feet. It's time to take back what was given to us, and appreciate all the we as Americans have, and find that place again wehre we can use our fortune to help the world, and to be the kind of Americans our ancestors hoped for for the future. We say we are the land of the free, the home of the brave, and there is no greater gift than to be an American. Under Barack Obama, i might just start to feel the truth in that again.

Who will love a little sparrow?

This is the greatest and best song that I've heard in a long time. Aphrodite herself loved a little sparrow, and it was sacred to her. This song is about helping your brother, or at least someone in need, no matter how small. That's really the important thing to remember in the world we are all in today, isn't it, friends? I've been thinking about help lately. We all need it, we all get it in some way, but how much do we give? The earth has been there from our conseption and will be there long after our departure... what are we doing for our oldest dearest comrade? Just something to keep in your mind and heart...

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree,
"I won't share my branches with
no sparrow's nest,
And my blanket of leaves won't warm
her cold breast."

Who will love a little Sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan,
"The entire idea is utterly absurd,
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the
other Swans heard."

Who will take pity in his heart,
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat,
"I would if I could but I cannot I know,
I need all my grain to prosper and grow."

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth,
"For all I've created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be."

Sylar

Dear God. What a heavenly body. THIS is the ultimate in delicious masculinity. Look at that shirt, look at those eyes. I'd lick him up like an ice cream cone if I could. Watch Heroes on Monday and oggle with me!