Iowa City Dreamin'

In Iowa City with my best friend Diana, and last night was my first night sleeping again on her old comfortable couch that I know so well. Perhaps a dangerous cocktail of travel, music, and too many episodes of LOST lead to what happened next, or maybe it was a message. I haven't decided yet. But I fell asleep and dreamed all night. One dream.

Someone, a girl, was getting married. I was part of her wedding party. It was before her wedding, and we were all painting the town red. There were some I knew in real life, and some I knew only in my dream, and there was Mike. In the past week I have dreamed about Mike more than I ever have. What it means, I don't know, but its happening. We went all over the town, did everything. Then, we went to dinner. We waited for so long to get our table. We finally sat. I tried so hard to reconnect with Mike, but he kept me at bay. He mentioned little things about moving away, being with Alex, and then he said... in three years I'll do this and this and this, and then I'll get her a better ring. Implying his intention to marry her. There was another wedding party at the restaurant, and we joined them after our bride got mad at us for not having a chair for her at our table. I thought she was being unreasonable, because we didn't really realize we didn't have a chair for her, and she wouldn't sit in the one we brought to the table when we realized our error. We all ate the other wedding party's cake and danced. It was fun, I felt drunk. We all went back to the girl's house to party the night away. The whole time I tried to reconnect with Mike. I wanted to know everything, and I listened intently to every little detail he said so that I might get some insight into all of the time I've missed. I was feeling down, and beaten, and defeated. It hurt so much that I was standing there in his life again, and he wanted nothing to do with me. He didn't even look at me with recognition, let alone apologize for all that has happened between us. He didn't care if we were ever part of each other's lives again. And I could feel that with each passing minute. The night was drawing to a close. People started leaving. Suddenly, I couldn't find Mike anywhere. He had gone. My heart sunk, and I was expecting at least... something. I walked outside to find him and saw him in his car pulling away. I knew that was it, and it broke my heart. I started walking. Walking for a long time, just trying to get to something. My car? Or something a bit more transcendent? Then suddenly, I was a bird, and I started running. And as I ran a started flashing like lightening. It happened faster... and faster... and I ran further and further, until I was a burning ball of electricity instead of a bird. And then I burst in to flames and suddenly I could fly. And I saw myself in the air flying higher and higher until I burst even more in to fire and became bigger and bigger and flew far off in the distance.