First Impressions are Key

Since I get to do what I want on this blog, I'm going to start it out honestly.

Just a couple things: I want to be her. I want someone like him in my life, because I've never seen anyone adore anyone more than he does her. This song reminds me of my current ex-love, who's last name happens to be McGraw... so it fits. Though, he didn't adore me as much as Tim adores Faith. And he couldn't sing.

There. Raw enough? Now that I've set the tone, why don't y'all just settle in. I speak my mind quite frequently, I find interesting things online, and I love to play, so being as I'm a pretty straight-forward, no-bullshit, playful sort of person, I'd like to welcome you to read my blog if you think you can handle it. If not... well, this is for me anyway so, peace. If you stumble upon this, I hope it brings you some enjoyment, but really I just needed a place to organize all my ADHD thoughts.

Happy Reading, bitches!

So what's on my mind today, like all days, of course is he who shall not be names. Really I just don't feel like admitting that it's him I'm thinking about, and as long as I don't say his name, in my own mind I'm safe. Deal with it. And watch that video again... have you ever just wanted so badly to be able to put something out there for someone in thehopes that they might see it? It's naiive and silly to wish for something like that, but I keep feeling this need to stay close to him. Because really, in the couple of times that I have seen him since, it was like we never loved at all... I just want to call him and ask him... did you ever miss me? Did you ever long to kiss me? Fantasies... Anyway, it's been a couple months and I'm doing well. Much better than I was, to say the least. I go about my life, I have fun, I see my friends, but really I'm still so heart-broken. And I've been in relationships before where it's ended badly, like this one, and I know I get over it but I keep wondering when this is going to be done with. In my head, I'm so over it and him. Not worth it, too young, too new, too immature, too many things that were really bad for me, but I can't forget how good it felt to be with him when times were good. I can't forget the magic or the passion. And you know? I was told so many times that love isn't everything, but I never believed it because what else is a 21 year old bright-eyed liberal modern-day-hippie supposed to believe? Love conquers all. I still believe that to a point, but I've learned from this newest heartbreak that it takes so much work and time and energy too. I had never known how much it really takes to stay with someone, even though love SHOULD be enough. It just can't be. There's too much else. So now the both of us will concentrate our energy towards eachother in a new way, pretending like the other doesn't exist and that everyone is happy as a clam. Thank god I've got this blog to spill my guts to, because what's more important than love when your in the jungle of college peers? Saving face. God... I'm such a contradiction.